I've been thinking recently about this cute little crystal pig I found at Pier One a few years ago. They already named her for me. Wasn't that considerate?
PENELOPE PIG is her name. I started to change it but thought the name rather fit. I am talking about a crystal pig here. It's not as if world peace will be threatened should I change her name.
Penelope is this tiny and cute little thing that represents a huge hiccup in my life. Forget that, it wasn't a hiccup. It was a downright loud and rude burp. Truth be told, her rude entrance in to my comfortably
planned life (ouch) is the best thing that could ever have happened. I’m the one that
opened the door and let her in, after all.
"The day I'm ever out of the pulpit and no longer preaching is the day pigs will fly," I smugly and assuredly said
"I can't believe people actually try to say they cannot work with this! Why, the day I ever let Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue even TRY and take me out of full-time work -- well, that will be the day pigs fly," I bragged
If you're anywhere near me -- get out your umbrellas 'cause it's raining pigs!
It isn't a spring shower. It's a full-blown gully-washer, as we like to say here in the south.
So my health was so bad -- but I didn't realize it until I had some distance from work. After that it was talking with friends who pointed out things I was then able to see. I stayed so exhausted all the time I started nodding off in meetings. I had to go home daily to take a nap to be able to get through my day. I started forgetting things.
That is not to say I went quietly. I was furious at myself and my inability to continue to carry on. Being out of work on medical disability had NOTHING to do with my plans. Makes me think of one of my favorite movies, "Evan Almighty" that stars Steve Carell as "Evan" and Morgan Freeman as "God."
In one of my favorite scenes Evan and God are talking and Evan says to God,
"I don't understand why you chose me."
"God" - "You want to change the world, son. So do I.
"Evan" - "You have to understand this whole building an ark thing is not part of my plan ...
"God" -- (uncontrollable laughing)
"Evan" - WHAT???
"God" - Your plan (more laughing)
"Evan" - An ark. AN ARK! I don't even know how to begin!
"God" - I hear that a lot. People want to change the world but don't know how to begin."
2007, Universal Pictures
I felt just as helpless after leaving work. I had NO CLUE what was next - when I would get better - where I go from there. Where was I to possibly begin?
It has been four years now and in some ways my health has worsened. Many people who used to love to be around me have no time for me anymore. I don't blame them. I didn't want to be around me!
But here's the thing. I have always said I believe God redeems all things. I still believe that and I see it in my l life.
- My family I never had time for: I cherish time spent with my brothers and sisters-in-law and precious niece now
- I have reunited with friends from years past. Sure wouldn't have had time to do that!
- My prayer life continues to increase and I cherish that.
- My Granny Masters taught me how to crochet when I was eleven and then life happened and I was far too busy doing too many important things for God. Now I cherish my time WITH God as I crochet .... a scarf for this person, a prayer shawl for that one ...
- I am learning to listen to my body and realize when I can push it a bit more and when it's a stay in the recliner day.
It is my heart's desire that my health improve so I can return to the active work force one day. I don't know what that means or when. So I've put "my" plans aside and am trusting God more and more to show me.
Don't get me wrong. I in no way believe I am some puppet on a string. God created each of us with brains and usually there is an objective to such things: use them. I look forward to the choices God sends my way.
So the pigs are flying and I'm trying to find my way.
I imagine I'm not alone. There is no way you can tell me someone else hasn't said the same thing: "The day that ... is the day pigs will fly!"
Open up your umbrellas, friends, and let's look forward to the new adventures ahead.
Enjoying the Journey,
Debra
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.
-- Proverbs 3:5-6
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